This segment of the newspaper is devoted to letters written by the people of Philomena to air their grievances about rowdy neighbours and scandalous new fashions, to showcase their powers of societal and philosophical observation, and to make their suggestions and comments for town improvement heard. Your letters are respectfully received at the Herald Office.
We, the ASSOCIATION OPPOSED TO THE EXTENSION OF SUFFRAGE TO WOMEN, entreat upon you to publish this letter in full.
To Whom It May Concern,
I turn now to the press for help after having been ignored by local authorities. You may recall that, some weeks ago, I placed a notice in this paper, The Philomena Herald. At the time I sought information regarding my missing Sire, Mr. Simon Deschanel . Sadly, there were no responses to that request for information.
In recent days, there have occurred events here in Philomenaville that give me reason for horrifying concern. I have attempted to solicit the help from the law but none has been forthcoming. Now, I turn to the press and ask that my story be shared here in the Herald. Perhaps, someone seeing this letter will step forward and shed some light on alarming events.
Mr. Deschanel was last seen outside the church of St. Philomena on the outskirts of town. This man was very important to me. I would not be the woman I am today had he not come into my life. He is of equal import to my long-time companion, Miss Puss Applewhyte. In addition to placing my add in the classifieds, Puss and I have quietly searched for him. This has come to nothing.
Recently, I learned that our neighbor, Miss Trolley Trollop, made a shocking discovery on her farm, or, rather, her chickens did. The hens scratched the earth in their hen house so energetically that they unearthed a skull. A human skull. Miss Trollop was kind enough to let me examine the skull. I think it may possibly be that of my sire. Miss Trolley is investigating the skull and the possibilities as to where it comes from, but she tells me there has been no official investigation into the case. I am wonder why not.
I also have seen the news of red stains in the streets of Philomenaville. In fact, I went to evaluate those stains myself. It is obvious to me that they are blood. I have heard from a very reliable source that Mayor Nadeau was seen leaving the site of the stains carrying a rolled up carpet. I was told that carpet obviously contained something and that it was large enough to hide a headless human body. My witness says the mayor claims the stains in the street were nothing but paint. I assure you, *I* know blood when I encounter blood.
I have taken my concerns to Constable Furlgrim, but he has made no response and, so far as I am aware, no investigation has occurred. My companion and I are somewhat desperate for answers. If my sire has been… well… lost to us forever, I would like to be able to mourn him properly and to see justice done.
If you have any answers concerning the disappearance of Simon Deschanel, the skull in Miss Trolley’s yard, or the blood in the streets, please contact me or my companion, Miss Puss Applewhyte, or the detective, Miss Trolley Trollop.
7 Pine Lane